{"id":74897,"date":"2022-03-01T13:20:38","date_gmt":"2022-03-01T16:20:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/?p=74897"},"modified":"2024-12-16T11:23:52","modified_gmt":"2024-12-16T14:23:52","slug":"emilio-calatayud-if-people-dont-set-boundaries-for-their-children-in-the-end-it-will-either-be-life-or-the-law-that-will-do-it-for-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/emilio-calatayud-if-people-dont-set-boundaries-for-their-children-in-the-end-it-will-either-be-life-or-the-law-that-will-do-it-for-them\/","title":{"rendered":"Emilio Calatayud: If people don\u2019t set boundaries for their children, in the end, it will either be life or the law that will do it for them"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><b>When he was 13 years old, in 1968, his father enrolled him, due to behaving in a disorderly maner, in the boarding school <\/b><b><i>San Jose de Campillos (M\u00e1laga)<\/i><\/b><b>, a place with a reputation for being a strict correctional; this experience had a deep impact on his life and oriented his future professional specialization. <\/b><!--more--><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><b>In 1977, he graduated from law school (ICADE) at the Deusto University. After considering other alternatives such as opossing Internal Revenue inspections, he joined the judicial career in 1980 and was assigned to Guimar, Tenerife as a district judge. In 1984 he was assigned to the Granada courts and he was promoted to a magistrate in 1987. He specialized as a juvenile judge and in 1988 he became the head of the Juvenile Court in Granada, where he served as an alternate judge of penitentiary surveillance. Between 1993 and 2001 he was dean in the Granada courts.<\/b><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In previous publications posted by <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">La Web del Maestro CMF<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, Judge Calatayud referred to the following topics <\/span><b>\u201cPermanent expulsion doesn\u2019t lead anywhere, children must be in school\u201d<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> and <\/span><b>\u201c We have gone from being an authoritarian parent to being a comrade parent\u201d<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> being the first one of the two , the most visited by our users in 2018.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In his blog<\/span><b>, Judge Calatayud<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> wrote the following: <\/span><b><i>\u00abSetting boundaries for children is not an option, it&#8217;s an obligation. I know it&#8217;s annoying, it&#8217;s not easy: you have to sustain dialogue, you have to discuss and you have to also be an authority figure&#8230;, you have to work hard. Children do not have it easy, but neither do parents. It was also difficult for me to ground my own children, but if we don&#8217;t set the limits for our children, in the end, life or the law will do it for them. We can do it with love but both, life or the law tend to be harsher.\u00bb<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In a previous publication, the Spanish philosopher Jose Antonio Marina referred to the following:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Children only need three things.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Children need only three things, according to Jose Antonio Marina, to grow up happy and healthy in all ways.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul style=\"text-align: justify;\">\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tenderness and affection, they need to feel loved. Not only when they are children but also when they are teenagers, even if they reject it, they also want it.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Boundaries. Little kids need to have limits. If they don&#8217;t know them, when they are alone they will be lost.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Communication. It\u2019s something that takes time, that requires dedication, that implies paying attention to them, even if we already know what they are going to say will not be quite smart.\u00a0 .<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mar\u00eda Jes\u00fas \u00c1lava Reyes, with a degree in Psychology from the Complutense University of Madrid and a master&#8217;s degree in Pedagogical Psychology, has been researching for more than 30 years in the field of clinical, educational, and occupational psychology, answered Alicia Polo&#8217;s question: At what age should we start setting limits?<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mar\u00eda Jes\u00fas \u00c1lava: Let&#8217;s see, Alicia, look. You have said it very well: \u00abAt what age?\u00bb, since they are babies. Since the moment they are born. Some might say: \u00abMy God, since they are born we\u2019ll need to set guidelines, rules, and limits? Poor little ones!\u201d No, not poor little children. We have to help them from birth. Let&#8217;s see, in psychology, as in almost everything, were theories which have been proven dangerous and wrong. And one of the most erroneous theories that has done the most damage in the education of children has been, precisely, that children do not need rules, they do not need guidelines, they must live in absolute freedom. This has been a drama, a drama! In the United States they realized it soon, they apologized, but here in Europe the notice came later, and in Spain, it seems that it has been difficult for us to come to this realization. Those guidelines, those norms, those habits have to be according to their age.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let&#8217;s say, when the child is a one year old, you\u2019ll be able to ask him that if he ever happens to run and colide with his classmate and then bite them, because he still doesn&#8217;t know how to express himself, you will barely scold him because you know that you will simply tell him that he can&#8217;t do it, but he is not doing it because he wants to, he doesn&#8217;t control his movements yet. It is very different if he were agrressive at age 5. Then, what is it that gives us the measure of the guidelines? Common sense, please people, common sense. As barely as we take a little bit of distance, you imagine the scene, you stand up here as if we were in an amphitheater and say: \u00abLet&#8217;s see, is this logical?\u00bb, you will see when the child is pulling your leg, what you can do. And also, ultimately, when you have doubts, you always have the other part of the fundamental team, which is the educational team, that you can ask and you can seek help. But, let&#8217;s see, are guidelines and rules necessary? Yes! Is it sometimes possible to negotiate with the children? Yes, it depends, according to their age, precisely to help them, so that they grow up, so that they take responsibility for certain things, but the limits, Alicia, we have to be very clear that they are never negotiable. If you cannot ride a motorcycle, you cannot ride a motorcycle.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you can&#8217;t get a joint and smoke it, you can&#8217;t smoke\u00a0 it. If I tell you you&#8217;re thirteen years old and it&#8217;s not time to have sex yet, it&#8217;s not time to have sex yet.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Original translation by Carla Zapata.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><strong>WEB DEL MAESTRO CMF<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n\t\t<div class=\"pk-inline-posts\">\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<div class=\"pk-inline-posts-container pk-inline-posts-template-list\"\n\t\t\t\tdata-columns=\"1\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<article id=\"post-68271\" class=\"post-68271 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail category-english category-highlights-news tag-daniel-cassany tag-exhausted tag-much-time tag-screens tag-spending tag-teachers cs-entry cs-video-wrap\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"pk-post-outer\">\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"pk-post-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"entry-thumbnail\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"pk-overlay pk-overlay-ratio pk-ratio-landscape\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"pk-overlay-background\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/daniel-cassany-teachers-are-exhausted-from-spending-so-much-time-in-front-of-screens\/\" class=\"pk-overlay-link\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" src=\"https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/1-140-300x225.jpg\" class=\"attachment-pk-thumbnail size-pk-thumbnail wp-post-image\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/1-140-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/1-140-600x450.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"pk-post-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<header>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"pk-title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/daniel-cassany-teachers-are-exhausted-from-spending-so-much-time-in-front-of-screens\/\" rel=\"bookmark\">Daniel Cassany: Teachers are exhausted from spending so much time in front of screens<\/a><\/h3>\t\t\t\t\t<\/header><!-- .entry-header -->\n\t\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .post-inner -->\n\n\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .post-outer -->\n\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t<article id=\"post-67824\" class=\"post-67824 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail category-english category-highlights-news tag-asked tag-completely tag-continue tag-importance tag-pilar-serrano-burgos tag-reading tag-writing cs-entry cs-video-wrap\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"pk-post-outer\">\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"pk-post-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"entry-thumbnail\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"pk-overlay pk-overlay-ratio pk-ratio-landscape\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"pk-overlay-background\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/pilar-serrano-burgos-i-dont-know-why-we-continue-to-overrate-the-importance-of-writing-and-reading-and-completely-forget-about-many-other-things-that-we-are-asked-to-do\/\" class=\"pk-overlay-link\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" src=\"https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/1-69-300x225.jpg\" class=\"attachment-pk-thumbnail size-pk-thumbnail wp-post-image\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/1-69-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/1-69-600x450.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"pk-post-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<header>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"pk-title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/pilar-serrano-burgos-i-dont-know-why-we-continue-to-overrate-the-importance-of-writing-and-reading-and-completely-forget-about-many-other-things-that-we-are-asked-to-do\/\" rel=\"bookmark\">Pilar Serrano Burgos: I don&#8217;t know why we continue to overrate the importance of writing and reading and completely forget about many other things that we are asked to do<\/a><\/h3>\t\t\t\t\t<\/header><!-- .entry-header -->\n\t\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .post-inner -->\n\n\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .post-outer -->\n\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t<article id=\"post-67413\" class=\"post-67413 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail category-english category-highlights-news tag-collaboration tag-communication tag-critical tag-educators tag-need tag-teach tag-thinking tag-yuval-noah-harari cs-entry cs-video-wrap\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"pk-post-outer\">\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"pk-post-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"entry-thumbnail\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"pk-overlay pk-overlay-ratio pk-ratio-landscape\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"pk-overlay-background\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/yuval-noah-harari-we-educators-need-to-teach-communication-collaboration-and-critical-thinking\/\" class=\"pk-overlay-link\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" src=\"https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/1-7-300x225.jpg\" class=\"attachment-pk-thumbnail size-pk-thumbnail wp-post-image\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/1-7-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/1-7-600x450.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"pk-post-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<header>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"pk-title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/webdelmaestrocmf.com\/portal\/yuval-noah-harari-we-educators-need-to-teach-communication-collaboration-and-critical-thinking\/\" rel=\"bookmark\">Yuval Noah Harari: \u201cWe educators need to teach communication, collaboration and critical thinking.\u201d<\/a><\/h3>\t\t\t\t\t<\/header><!-- .entry-header -->\n\t\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .post-inner -->\n\n\t\t\t<\/div><!-- .post-outer -->\n\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"When he was 13 years old, in 1968, his father enrolled him, due to behaving in a disorderly&hellip;","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":74900,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"csco_display_header_overlay":false,"csco_singular_sidebar":"disabled","csco_page_header_type":"large","csco_page_load_nextpost":"disabled","csco_post_video_location":[],"csco_post_video_location_hash":"","csco_post_video_url":"","csco_post_video_bg_start_time":0,"csco_post_video_bg_end_time":0,"csco_post_video_bg_volume":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[13955,13956],"tags":[14652,14653,4106,14654,14651],"class_list":["post-74897","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-english","category-highlights-news","tag-boundaries","tag-children","tag-emilio-calatayud","tag-life","tag-people","cs-entry","cs-video-wrap"],"yoast_head":"<!-- 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